Relationships between people are a complex and multifaceted area. Sometimes it is difficult to define the boundary between sincere, deep love and emotional dependence. By emotional dependence we mean a state in which a person constantly needs confirmation of his or her value or importance from another person, is unable to make independent decisions and experiences anxiety when his or her “object of dependence” is absent.
Causes of emotional dependence
- Low self-esteem: Often people who suffer from emotional dependency do not value themselves or their abilities enough. They look for validation of their worth in the outside world, particularly in a partner.
- Fear of loneliness: This fear can be so strong that people are willing to accept any conditions just to stay in a relationship, even if they are not happy with it.
- Incomplete relationship patterns: We learn how to communicate and connect with others by observing adults as children. If these patterns were far from ideal, the person may replicate them in their relationship.
Signs of emotional dependency
Strong attachment to the partner: Constant need for contact, desire to always be close.
Loss of interest in one’s life: All thoughts and actions of the addicted person are connected with the partner.
Fear of loss: Fear of separation that dominates over other feelings.
Lack of autonomy in decision-making: Decisions are made based on the partner’s opinion, even if they conflict with one’s own beliefs and values.
Adjusting to their partner’s needs: Dependent people may agree to things they are not comfortable with in order to maintain the relationship or to avoid upsetting their partner.
Overreacting to changes in the relationship: Emotionally dependent people often worry about small things, overestimate the importance of minor conflicts, and may have frequent mood swings.
Emotional Dependency and Healthy Relationships
Unlike emotional dependency, healthy relationships are characterized by respect, trust, and equality. People can spend time apart, have their own interests, values and aspirations. An important feature of a healthy relationship is the ability of each partner to function independently without requiring constant affirmation of their status or importance.
How to get rid of emotional dependence: psychological techniques
Self-observation technique: Self-analysis and introspection can be very helpful. It is important to note your feelings and thoughts when feelings of addiction arise and reflect on what circumstances trigger them.
Positive Affirmation Technique: Constant affirmation of one’s positive qualities and successes can help improve self-esteem and reduce dependence on the approval of others.
Meditation and Mindfulness Technique: Mindfulness helps one to stay in the present moment and not dwell on relationships. Meditation also helps one to relax and reduce stress levels.
Refocusing Technique: Focusing one’s attention on other aspects of life helps in reducing the level of dependence on the partner. These can be hobbies, career, education, friendships, etc.
Boundary Setting Technique: Setting and maintaining personal boundaries in a relationship can help reduce feelings of dependency, allowing the person to maintain their self-respect and dignity.
Pattern Breaking Technique: This means changing repetitive patterns of behavior in relationships that lead to addiction. This may involve finding new ways of communicating with a partner or changing how one reacts to certain situations.
In conclusion, it’s worth emphasizing that emotional addiction is not a verdict. With the right approach and determination, it is possible to overcome this condition and build a healthy, harmonious relationship.